When i was 7 years old, i made a wish (maybe a stupid one)- she said. That night i felt alone (as usual), i still wondering why?...i guess it was destiny and its no that i believe in planets, stars and astrology things, you know wot i mean? Yes, that night i just close my eyes, behind the black door of my room, saw at the sky it was red ,the wind keep whispering and after breaking down in tears, i prayed with all my hopes in the hands, with my hearth between red skies and myself, i did, i wished one day i fall in love with the perfect guy (in my own concept).
Wots was my perfect guy? Humm...well, no a typical stupid charm prince, no! that wasnt for me...I dint want the good looking guy withouth a single clue of wot it was a mathematical problem, i didnt ask the perfect mummie's boy, the great big brother neither the perfect lover, that was too boring for me..thats wot a stupid girl would ask...wot that stupid seven years old wished that night..it was something for real, i wanted a deep person, problems all around, bipolar, depressing, stone, freak mind, unusual thoughts, bad behavior, smart and antiromantic guy...nothing usual for a sever years old girl..but that was the perfect one for me..
Why that dramatic stuffs, right? why i asked that? Simple, when ur 7 years old..u wish something good for you...if i had someone like that..obviously i was gonna fall in love but all the problems and bad moods it would break me apart, make me fall out love and never have a breaking heart, that feelings u heard since ur lil, the hole in the chest, the night tears and all the drama perfect scene.
Results? When your 7 years old...u dont have and idea of wot ur asking for...beware next time, thats my advice. Obvisouly, when u get you u want ur gonna suffer. It doesnt matter wot type of person u asked, no matter wot someone eventually will break your heart, maybe is not gonna be that wish but someone is gonna make you feel bad. Im still running from be just another girl with a broken heart. Coz when ur hearth is broke...join the club of midnights calls to someone u know, hours of tears infront of a mirror, minutes talking to ur walls and going crazy, wot about the stupid notes in the old diary, long walks at night while someone from ur past phoned u just to say i still love you, ur more than that, the funny part: u listened more than 1000 sad songs just to feel someone is broke inside like you, the fakes smiling to ur friends, the no problem excuses just to stay at ur room reading ur thoughst and drawing his face, thousand of newspapers in ur door with his name on it, changing hair, atmosphere, running away, cuting, taking more than 3 pills per day, writing more than 200 poems about it, waking up in tears, parying every night wishing this time u find some peaceful for youself...but at the end...every pain no matter how deep it could be gives u straight and experience.
In this life, people said ur gonna have 3 types of love. Love number one: ur true love, yes it does exist. That one is gonna take away ur breath, make you smile everyday, show you wots real love, but eventually broke ur heart why? perfect love doesnt exist, someone needs to break you , i guess so.
Type number 2: More than true love, that one is gonna make u feel like firs type but also stay there no matter wot, the feelings is gonna get more and more deep, this time maybe ur gonna cry, maybe ur gonna wish to die, why? the love is too deep and pure that not everyone gets the chance to keep it, sometimes u need to lost to win something better, althought sometimes u could make a great mistake.
Type number 3: The one that is gonna no only love you but also stay with you forever,. Distance?, time? language? religion? politcal views? traditions? wots that? he is there, and will be forever. He is gonna be that one that finally fights for you, that is gonna be there with all his hearth, why? this time is not only love is destiny, yes i do believe in destiny. This guy needs you as u need him, love you as you love him, if u crawl he crawl, if u jump he jump with you, if ur sad he is sad with you, if u need time hes is gonna be around, if u smile he is gonna kiss you, if u stay in silence he is gonna talk for hours, if ur angry he is gonna be at silence, if ur anxious he is gonna run with you for hours, if ur confused he is gonna make a mental map, tell u all the pros and bad things about ur problem, if u think ur falling out of love he is gonna be closest to you, if u love him more thant u thought he is gonna be away from you, he is gonna kiss you, hug you, love you, live with you and for you. He is gonna be that one, maybe no the ideal seven eyars old type, maybe no the best guy in this world, but he is gonna be that one, and ull know by just looking his eyes, watching him smiling at you, watching how no matter if theres a beautiful girl behind you, who cares? ur the only one, he is not gonna run away, he i gonna stay, fight and never ask you impossible things such as time, he will hurt you but also repair you, he is gonna be ur friend forever, coz he is gonna be that one, you never dream but now is become ur dream, amazing right? well, thats wot people said...i dunno if is true, but when i was 7 years old i made a wrong wish, had i find that type of guy? i dunno, maybe i did, maybe i havemt? had someone broke my heart 4 the very first time? yep, it happened to me...but, u learn from pain, your wot u wanna be..maybe ill never find the perfect guy, maybe i dont need it, all i want is someone to love me, to hurt me and reapir me, someone true to me, no time, no distance, no excuses, if u love me u do, if u dont, u just dont...life is a journey, and im in the middle of mine, if someone is gonna love me for real it will...so i guess it was an stupid 7 years old wish, but one thing is true...i do believe in love and destiny...and ill find that one 4 me...and fight for him and ill know he is the one 4 me, coz he is not gonna runaway and stay to fight with me...no matter wot.